In a bold reimagining of national priorities, several Democratic lawmakers have reportedly unveiled a list of “more compassionate investments” they’d prefer to fund instead of the Department of Homeland Security (DHS) and Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE).

Topping the list: a $4 billion nationwide “Healing Through Interpretive Dance” program, designed to help illegal aliens and border patrol agents “process their feelings about walls and arrests together.”

Close behind is a federal grant initiative to provide emotional-support peacocks to anyone who feels “triggered by enforcement.” Supporters say the birds will create a safer, more inclusive environment.

Democratic Lawmakers are also pushing for a $232 billion rebranding campaign to rename “illegal immigration” as “undocumented adventure tourism,” complete with flashy websites and slogans.

There’s also a proposal for taxpayer-funded welcome baskets for both new arrivals and also established illegal aliens who are already in the country. Baskets would include organic granola, Costco gift cards, reusable tote bags and already-filled-out absentee voter ballots.

Finally, sources confirm a pilot program that would convert ICE offices into community meditation hubs where activists can do yoga and print posters for their next anti-Trump protests.

Critics argue that maybe – just maybe – border enforcement should still be a thing. But supporters insist that in a world of limited resources, interpretive dance and peacock therapy simply feel more urgent.