Federal officials announced this week that they’ve uncovered the #1034th fraud scheme in Minnesota, prompting Americans everywhere to ask the obvious question: “Is fraud a state-sponsored program?” Yes, under Democratic rule it is – and has been for years.

Whether it’s food programs, elder care, or homelessness – no cause is off-limits. It’s equal-opportunity fraud. The Democratic Party really doesn’t care who they steal from. And whenever patterns start to emerge (Somali fraudsters), we’re told not to notice them, because asking questions is “racist.”

According to sources, Minnesota’s fraud scene has now officially reached performance- art levels and the Dems need to apply for a whole new grant to fund their corruption.

MORE NEWS: The Minnesota Cesspool of Fraud: Why Washington Should Shut Off the State’s Money Spigot on Everything

Here are just a few highlights from the Land of 10,000 Schemes:

  1. The ‘Invisible Service’ Program – Millions paid out for services that existed only in someone’s imagination. Paperwork? Flawless. Actual services? Non-existent. What did they purport to do? Feed disabled folks, pay for vet care for homeless animals, provide free cancer help for the poor…What did they actually do? NOTHING.
  2. The ‘Trust Us, Bro’ Reimbursement Model – Providers self-reported expenses, self-approved them, and self-congratulated themselves for a job well done. Then they sent out press releases about how mean Trump and the Republicans are.
  3. The ‘Community Outreach’ Mystery Box – Funds earmarked for “community enrichment” actually translated into luxury cars, designer bags, and free concert tickets for voters, supporters and friends of the Democratic Party. Mission accomplished.
  4. The ‘Nobody Checked’ Grant – Awarded because the application was filled out neatly and no one wanted to be the bad guy who asked follow-up questions. Yes, that would be racist against the underprivileged, marginalized, disadvantaged and underserved.

Officials insist “safeguards” are now in place, which is comforting in the same way duct tape is comforting during a plane landing.

At this point, fraud in Minnesota isn’t a bug – it’s a feature. And judging by the receipts, it’s one very well-funded feature. Kudos to Democrats on a job well done for many years.