In its latest bid to plug the leaky ship of state, the Trump administration has slapped a “keep out” sign on the inner offices of senior West Wing communications staff – because reporters, eager to come up with the latest anti-Trump scoop – have been exhibiting bad behavior.

This behavior, according to Trump Comms Director Steven Cheung in a Daily B.S. report, includes reporters using the West Wing for a spy thriller set. In a post on X, Cheung said reporters have been caught lurking in “Upper Press” – eavesdropping on private meetings with senior Trump officials, secretly recording the conversations, and even snapping photos of sensitive documents.

Some reporters have been caught secretly recording video and audio of our offices, along with pictures of sensitive info, without permission

Some reporters have wandered into restricted areas (our offices are feet away from the Oval Office)

Some reporters have been caught… https://t.co/tosUqrcKGt

— Steven Cheung (@StevenCheung47) October 31, 2025

Cheung added that cabinet secretaries can’t even drop by for a private chat anymore without being “ambushed” by reporters waiting outside their doors.

So the communications team said “enough.” The memo arrived: senior staff’s offices are off-limits to reporters who treat sensitive documents like Instagram captions.

The stenographers for the Democratic Party (The White House Correspondents’ Association) released a statement saying, “The new restrictions hinder the press corps’ ability to question officials, ensure transparency, and hold the government accountable, to the detriment of the American public.”

Blah, blah, blah…

In the end, it looks like the White House finally found a way to drain at least one swamp – the press pool. The reporters who treated the West Wing like a reality show set are now banished to the hallway, clutching their notepads like exiled high school gossip columnists.