No, Steve Gruber and Sean Hannity. You are not.

We are not living in 1983. You are not firing up a camcorder the size of a microwave. You are not slipping a cassette into a VCR. You are recording. On a digital device. Like the rest of us. You’re also not looking for or watching a “tape” – you’re watching a video. Taping implies magnetic tape. And unless you’re a nostalgic hipster making mixtapes or a Cold War spy, that word has officially expired.

This pet peeve irks me as almost as much as people who still double-space after a period. You’re not on a typewriter. You have kerning now. Point sizes. Styles. Fonts! Adjust your habits and stop giving me publishing PTSD.

But I digress…

What’s extra baffling is that the biggest “tape” offenders are actually in the business. Movie sets, TV studios, radio stations, news stations, reporters, actors – you know, the people and places who should know better. People like Steve Gruber, our favorite throwback teddy bear with a mic. He’s still out there saying things are “taped.”

Taped to what, Steve? The side of a Betamax?

But Steve Gruber is not alone. Sean Hannity is also a chronic offender of this verbal crime – and so are many other of the broadcast journalists. I even caught Ben Shapiro saying “tape” the other day. If you Google “taped” or “taping” and hit the news tab, it’s like a retirement home for outdated tech lingo.

Even the Sean “Diddy” Combs headlines are talking about sex “tapes” right now.

So why are people still using the word “tape”? Honestly, who knows. It’s like calling your iPhone a “car phone.” It’s outdated, mildly confusing, and just a little embarrassing. My husband likes to use the word “tape” as often as possible, but only because he knows it drives me nuts. That’s marital trolling at its finest. But I doubt that’s the motivation behind people like Steve Gruber and his media pals. Maybe they’re stuck in a nostalgic loop, or they’re standing up for their First Amendment rights – or maybe they just haven’t updated their internal dictionary since Blockbuster and CDs were still a thing.

Now I know what you’re thinking. “It’s just a generic term!” you say. “It just means recording!” you whine. But it’s still wrong and it’s still annoying. And while I’m at it, here are some other things people need to stay saying: We don’t “dial” numbers anymore. We don’t “roll down” the window (unless you have a vintage car). And we don’t “hang up the phone” either.

So… what say you, Steve? Want to come into the future with us? We’ve got AI, smartwatches, and devices that don’t need rewinding now. I’ll let you have the last word – just don’t “tape” it.