President Donald Trump is on a mission – one that sounds like a plot from a political heist movie. Orange Man Bad has announced that he’ll be heading to Fort Knox to do what no president has done in decades: check if America still has its gold. You know, just to make sure it hasn’t been pawned off to China, slipped into Ukraine aid packages, or repurposed into gold-plated Hunter Biden laptops.
Hopefully, the Trumpster will bring a camera along on his trip and turn it into a made-for- TV special like Geraldo Rivera’s infamous Al Capone’s Vault visit. Let’s just hope this Fort Knox adventure doesn’t end with the same disappointing lack of treasure.
While past presidents just assumed the gold was safe because the government said so (which, given recent history, seems a little naïve), Trump is taking a more hands-on “trust but verify” approach by taking a visit to see if someone (or a certain political party) made off with the loot.
President Trump:
“We’re actually going to Fort Knox to see if the gold is there, because maybe somebody stole the gold.” pic.twitter.com/w0DblBMs5z
— The American Conservative (@amconmag) February 24, 2025
If the gold DOES turn up missing, the suspect list writes itself. Did the Federal Reserve swap it out for Bitcoin and disburse it to the Democratic Party? Did Biden’s climate czars melt it down to fund solar panels? Did Obama get to it a while ago to ship it off to Iran?
If Trump finds out we’ve been operating on an IOU, expect him to post about it in ALL CAPS faster than a CNN intern can fact-check it.
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