In a revelation that shouldn’t shock anyone who has dealt with the inefficiency of federal bureaucracy, Elon Musk recently pointed out that the feds are processing and storing the paperwork (yes, paperwork, not computer files) of those who are retiring from the federal government in a cave.
Yes, while private companies like Elon’s are launching rockets, developing AI and putting self-driving cars on the road, Uncle Sam is scribbling your retirement paperwork by candlelight in an underground bunker like it’s the 1800s.
In a press conference standing next to his son, X, and Trump in the Oval Office, Musk told reporters gathered in the room about something new that he uncovered while auditing the feds under DOGE (Dept of Govt. Efficiency) He said, “We were told the most number of people that could retire (from the federal government) possibly in a month is 10,000…We’re like, ‘well, why is that?’”
Musk continued, “Well, because all the retirement paperwork is manual on paper. It’s manually calculated and written down on a piece of paper. Then it goes down to mine and like, ‘what do you mean, a mine?’”
The information gets put into a manila envelope and goes down into a limestone mine where the paperwork is stored in cardboard boxes.
The cave that Musk was referring to is the Office of Personnel Management’s Iron Mountain data center in Boyers, PA – which has been reported in the past – and completely ignored by most of the country and not “fixed” by any politicians to get us out of the stone age. It is there that about 700 federal employees work 230 feet underground in an old limestone mine dealing with truckloads of paperwork.
Musk said incredulously, “And then the speed, the limiting factor is the speed at which the mine shaft elevator can move, determines how many people can retire from the federal government,…And the elevator breaks down and sometimes, and then you can’t, nobody can retire. Doesn’t that sound crazy?”
Federal employee retirements are processed using paper, by hand, in an old limestone mine in Pennsylvania. 700+ mine workers operate 230 feet underground to process ~10,000 applications per month, which are stored in manila envelopes and cardboard boxes. The retirement process… pic.twitter.com/dXCTgpAWLs
— Department of Government Efficiency (@DOGE) February 11, 2025
Yes, it sounds crazy. Crazy but not surprising. One has to wonder: are we also storing Medicare records on papyrus scrolls? Are IRS refunds calculated using an abacus? We won’t know until Trump and Musk look into it.
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