In a move that rocked the Capitol with all the subtlety of a senior tap-dancing class, 82-year-old Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell announced that he’s finally hitting the exit ramp from the Senate Republican leader stage.

With the grace of someone who’s just discovered elastic waistbands, McConnell revealed he’ll gracefully hobble out of the minority seat in November, leaving us to wonder if his “different seat in the chamber” will come with a built-in recliner and a “Do Not Disturb” sign.

Don’t worry though. He’ll stick around and serve out his senate term. That means he’ll be a month away from being 85-years-old when he finally leaves the senate for good in January of 2027.

Over the hill. Waaaaaay over the hill.

McConnell, whose political career predates the widespread use of email and even stamps, is, according to Real Clear Politics, America’s most disliked political leader – which is hard to believe with so many others vying for the coveted spot.

Many have speculated that Mitch is leaving because of the distinct possibility that Trump will take his rightful seat in the Oval Office 2025 and the senator doesn’t want to have to work with him again. Or maybe Mitch has finally figured out that he doesn’t actually “represent” the Senate – or conservatives (i.e. his ridiculous “Ukrainian deal.”)

Long in the tooth doesn’t mean competent or effective.

McConnell, the timeless relic who’s been around since the era when Walkmans were considered cutting-edge technology, faced some flack lately for his Ukraine fiasco. Critics, including Ted Cruz, Mike Lee, Rick Scott, and Ron Johnson, haven’t been shy about airing their grievances.

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“I cannot even believe how badly McConnell blew this,” exclaimed Johnson, possibly shaking his head while wondering if McConnell forgot to take his evening meds. “McConnell frittered away the leverage we have in the Senate.”

Johnson added, “The reason so many of us are speaking out the way we are against McConnell was the way he blew this. It’s historic. It was a monumental blunder, debacle. We don’t appreciate it.”

Johnson doesn’t seem to be much of a Mitch fan probably scribbled “Worst. Leader. Ever.” in McConnell’s yearbook.

An anonymous Republican senator had even been quoted in media reports as saying, “I think this is our opportunity to take him (McConnell) out, and we’re sort of working to figure out if that’s possible.”

A strategy to remove the old and decaying.

It sounds like “Operation Rocking Chair” was definitely a go. And was successful! Nothing says political revolution like a bunch of grumpy old senators plotting a coup over lukewarm coffee and Geritol.

During Mitch’s speech, the old fart said, “One of life’s most under-appreciated talents is to know when it’s time to move on to life’s next chapter.”

The twilight years are not accepted by politicians.

If only everyone in the Senate, House, Oval Office, and those in political power all over the country, felt the same way. But when you are a politician (or the family member of one), you have all the power (and money) in the world and you don’t want to give that up. Hence, the old fogies will stay in the political shuffleboard game as long as they possibly can.

With all of the aging politicians who won’t leave, the Capitol is now resembling a bingo hall full of gray-haired power mongers with hearing aids. And there are plenty of players who need to go. And soon.

Time to wipe the slate clean.

March, being the time of spring and renewal and newness, is the perfect time to “clean house” (and clean the senate) – as well as get rid of all of the other elderly and senile political yahoos who are supposed to be serving the public but are are only actually serving themselves.

Yes, it’s time to give the boot to the old relics and plot our own “Operation Rocking Chair” while the geriatric politicians adjust their dentures and drink prune juice.

Senior citizen lawmakers who need to head to the retirement home…

President Joe Biden – age 81
Nancy Pelosi – age 83
Chuck Schumer – age 73
Charles Grassley – age 90
Bernie Sanders – age 82
Mitt Romney – age 76
Elizabeth Warren – age 84
Susan Collins – age 72
Lindsey Graham – age 68
Maxine Waters – age 85
Grace Napolitano – age 87
Steny Hoyer – age 84
James Clyburn – age 83
Sheila Jackson Lee – age 74
Michigan’s Debbie Dingell – age 70

Earth to grandma and grandpa: you all need to leave. Yesterday. And don’t let the rocking chair hit you on your way out.