For years various dolts have taken a throwaway line from JFK and a rather mundane speech by Bush the Elder and turned them into a shadowy worldwide conspiracy that includes the rich, the powerful, and a talking elk named Gordon.

That’s right kids, we’re talking about the New World Order, NWO. As opposed to NWA, a totally different rap group. Also different from the New World Symphony, as you’ve got to pay Dvorak royalties to use that one.

You can always tell if you’re chatting with a populist cretin, a pitchfork commando, an unwashed prole, when they bring up the NWO. Their tone is hushed, lest the transmissions in their heads from the Planet Zorp be interrupted by the frequency of their own argle bargle.

But they will assure you that people with better educations, a better work ethic, and many times better ideas have somehow darkly maneuvered their way into a social, financial, and political status better than the average Joe. Really? Gee, who would have thought?

But sing Caesar’s praises, their warnings have finally borne fruit. What they called the NWO, in reality just the normal advance of history, is now a fact. Just not in the way their fever swamp intellects imagined.

The emerging NWO is comprised of Russia, China, North Korea, Syria, Iran, Cuba, Venezuela, Belarus, and a couple of other small nations too silly to mention. The Chinese are members of temporary convenience. They are opposed by most of the rest of the world led by us, the Brits, and, saints alive, the Euros. Yes, even the Hun.

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Thus what we have here are two international coalitions fighting over control of land, resources, and people. What’s so “new” about it? The same thing has been happening for at least 3200 years, when the Greeks united to sack Troy over a marital dispute.

Since then the Seven Years War, colonialism, WWI, WWII, and the Cold War are merely several examples of innumerable changes in the world order. And most of that stuff was done fully in the public eye for all to see. Wars are funny that way.

What the conspiracy chowderheads don’t get is that a real conspiracy is all but impossible these days, as some nudnik will go off running to Project Veritas or the Washington Post and ruin the fun of the whole thing.

But, like early man needed tales of Thunder Gods to explain natural phenomenon, these populist quarterwits need a dank woe of surreptitious mischief and unholy doings to explain the prosaic march of history. Who knows what it stems from? Perhaps they were frightened by wolves when toddlers. Maybe they saw the white uniform of the ice cream truck driver as a bloodless shroud of evil. It is hard to tell with these cultists of the House of Orange. What we do know is this, the world has changed in ways it has changed before. Welcome to the New World Order. Kind of East vs West. It’s pretty much the same as the Old World Order, except the leader of the West is a drooling buffoon.