It’s been three months since the legendary singer Melissa Etheridge’s 21 year-old son Beckett Cypheridge passed away at the age of 21 after an opioid overdose. Now, she is speaking out in a new interview to open up about her grief after her son’s death.

“As a mother of someone who was addicted to opioids, it’s a struggle. You want to help your child, you want to make them all better,” Etheridge, 59, told Rolling Stone.

“He was a young adult, there were things out of my control, of course, and there came a time that I needed to really sit down with myself and say, ‘I can’t save him. I can’t give up my life and go try to live his life for him.’ And I had to come up against the possibility that he might die,” she continued. “Of course it’s nothing a parent ever wants. But as a human being, I just needed to be at peace with a troubled son who did the best he could, who believed what he believed and then his life ended way, way too soon.”

Etheridge went on to explain that while she and her ex-partner Julie Cypher tried to help Beckett, he had many “ups and downs” and was “really in trouble.”

“[His death] wasn’t a surprise, again, to the family,” the Grammy-winner said. “You hope that OK, this is the time, this is the day that he’s gonna say, ‘Yeah, I can do this. I can get through.’ So we all wished the best for him and supported him and loved him.”

Etheridge added that since her son’s death, she has been left with guilt over whether or not she could have done more to save him.

“There will always be that place in my heart, in my soul that has a little bit of, ‘What could I have done? And is it my fault he ended this way?’ All that sort of thing,” she said.

Since Cypher’s death, Etheridge has been pouring herself into her music as a way of heeling.

“The thing that makes life make sense has always been my music,” she said. “I’ve always been able to sing and breathe and let it out and get the emotions out through music. It has saved me my whole entire life.”

Etheridge has also been distracting herself by putting on concerts in her garage with her wife, Linda Wallem.

“That’s where all the healing is,” Etheridge said. “I get to practice some of my music, I get to play my guitars. It gives us something to do every day to get through this time. And it’s just really saved us.”

This piece originally appeared in UpliftingToday.com and is used by permission.

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