It’s that magical time of year when carolers spread cheer – but at least one former cable host is spreading fresh outrage [1]. After fired MSNBC host Joy Reid reposted a viral clip claiming “Jingle Bells” is racist, Democrats are now pushing to cancel Christmas. At the very least, they are leaning on Jingle Bell singers (even kids) to repent their sins and submit written apologies to Santa and the general public before humming anything remotely festive.
If we’re overhauling Christmas, here are five other totally racist and oppressive holiday traditions that the country has to reconsider…
- Gingerbread Men
Celebrating anthropomorphic baked goods reinforces unhealthy body standards and midnight snack capitalism. - Ugly Christmas Sweaters
Textiles that mock good taste are just another tool of systemic shame. - Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer
The entire story is about being prejudiced against a color (red) and bullying. The movie needs to go! - Elf on the Shelf
Child surveillance culture is oppressive. - Mistletoe
A plant that encourages unauthorized kisses? Nope.
So…Happy Holidays to everyone – as long as you can sing and laugh and celebrate the holidays without offending anyone.
In a related story, Santa’s workshop, we’re told, has hired a DEI specialist in order to audit the elves, rename the reindeer, and ensure the naughty list is administered equitably.