Soon-to-be former FBI Deputy Director Dan Bongino has reportedly stepped away from his role at the FBI after a brief but enlightening realization: the federal government is not the ideal environment for a guy whose entire career has been built on saying exactly what he thinks, immediately, and at full volume – while going after the federal government.
Before his short-lived stint inside the Bureau, Bongino was a wildly popular radio host and podcasting juggernaut, known for live, unfiltered commentary, instant reaction, and an audience that expected answers now – not after three layers of approval. So obviously – not a good fit.
“Turns out, you can’t fix the swamp by politely floating in it,” said one source familiar with Bongino’s thinking.
There were also additional issues weighing on Bongino that contributed to the growing strain on his state of mind and overall mood.
1. The FBI Denied His Repeated Requests for a “Pepsi Button”
Bongino allegedly asked for a big red button on his desk that instantly summoned an ice-cold Pepsi. Management said no, citing “budget constraints,” “the Constitution” and some sort of Trump exclusive contract with Coca-Cola. This was reportedly the first red flag.
2. HR Said No to His Daily “American Minute”
Sources say Bongino wanted to start each morning briefing with a minute of patriotism that included the National Anthem, a quote from former President Ronald Reagan and a reminder that freedom isn’t free. HR countered with a mindfulness bell, a feelings check-in, and an offer of a therapy cat. It did not go well.
3. Bongino Was Told to Stop Asking “Who Signed Off on This?”
According to insiders, Bongino asked this question so often it became a fire drill trigger. After the 47th time, supervisors suggested he “embrace the process.” Dan allegedly replied, “I don’t think so. The process is broken. That’s why I came here.”
4. Being #2 Meant He Couldn’t Actually Fix Anything
Bongino reportedly discovered that being second-in-command mostly involved meetings about meetings, memos about memos and approvals waiting on other approvals. When informed that real change would require “six committees and a cultural shift,” he allegedly packed up his DOGE coffee mug and chose freedom. And we salute him!