Sources close to the White House say President Donald J. Trump spent the week weighing a BIGLY lineup of Halloween costume options – all while simultaneously hammering out some ginormous, big-league trade deals in Asia.
According to insiders, Trump’s shortlist of possible costumes included:
- SuperTrump: Complete with a red cape, golden “T” emblem, and boots made “from the finest U.S.A. leather – real American cow, not China cow.”
- Witch Hunt Victim: Featuring fake subpoenas, handcuffs, and a t-shirt reading “Indicted But Invincible.”
- Sleepy Joe’s Pajamas: Trump was overheard saying, “I’d nail it, but I don’t want people thinking I actually fall asleep during meetings. I’m wide awake – just ask the stock market.”
- The Border Wall: A giant cardboard fortress that says “Mexico paid for this costume.”
Ultimately, Trump chose to be a McDonald’s french fry because “everyone loves me supersized, golden, and made in America.”
Former President Biden was reportedly trick-or-treating as “a functional adult,” but no one recognized the costume.