After years of chaos, the impossible happened – Israel and Hamas agreed to a peace deal. While everyone with a calendar, an X account, an internet connection, and a TV knows who brokered it (hint: the initials are DJT), Democrats insist it was a group effort between history, hope, and hashtags. Even for the Democrats who have finally admitted that the peace deal is a good thing (Obama, Schumer, Omar), none of them are able to utter or type the word “Trump” in any of their comments. And the biased people who hand out their illegitimate Nobel Peace Prizes suck at dealing with reality as well.
Here are the five “critical turning points” that made peace possible according to the Left, who will absolutely never give Trump credit for the Gaza peace deal – or anything else.
1. A Ceasefire Was Accidentally Declared During a Zoom Lag
Negotiators on both sides thought they heard “let’s stop firing” when someone actually said “let’s stop ironing.” By the time the connection stabilized, everyone had already tweeted #PeaceInOurTime, so they just went with it – albeit with wrinkled clothing.
2. Kerry’s Tesla Accidentally Brokered Peace While Looking for a Charging Station
While searching for a climate summit, John Kerry’s Tesla veered into Gaza after mishearing “war zone” as “charging zone.” The sudden arrival of a confused American diplomat in a $130,000 electric car caused both sides to pause long enough for someone to slip in a peace deal. The Tesla later announced, “Autopilot has achieved net-zero conflict.”
3. Kamala Harris Accidentally Created Unity Through Word Salad
Her speech on “the circular intersectionality of mutual coexistence within the global table of democracy” was so incomprehensible that both sides agreed to stop fighting so they wouldn’t have to listen to her anymore.
4. Biden Tried to Call Zelensky, Dialed Gaza Instead
According to sources, the former president misdialed while searching for “the Ukraine guy” on his Jitterbug phone. He congratulated “the leaders of the Gaza peace process,” and – boom – no one wanted to correct him. Instant diplomacy. Thanks, Dementia Joe!
5. CNN Mistakenly Reported Peace, and Everyone Played Along
After a premature “BREAKING: PEACE ACHIEVED” chyron hit the air, no one wanted to contradict it. So both sides just stopped shooting to make the headline true. Journalism saves the day!
Democrats everywhere are calling the Gaza peace deal “a spontaneous eruption of global empathy” that just happened. They aren’t praising Trump or Netanyahu. Nope – world peace apparently fell out of the sky like a stimulus check and signed itself.