Forget about scrounging for spare change to fill up the tank for a trip to grandma’s or digging through the couch cushions to cover the mortgage – America’s real crisis right now? The outrageous price of eggs.

Due to a convergence of issues – cage free legislation in Michigan for chickens, Avian flu, inflation and other factors, Michiganders are practically having to take out loans to be able to make a scrambled egg breakfast. The rest of the country isn’t faring well either.

Even the ever-reliable, always-open and inexpensive Waffle House – home of late-night cravings and questionable life choices – just slapped a 50-cent surcharge on eggs because of – you guessed it – bird flu and inflation. That’s right, folks, even the bastion of greasy comfort food can’t crack this economic nightmare according to Breitbart News.

With egg prices soaring like a SpaceX rocket, it’s time to start weighing your breakfast choices like a major financial decision. Need two eggs? That’ll be an extra buck. Want a three-egg omelet? Better check your credit score.

At this rate, Waffle House may need to partner with Bank of America so we can finance that omelet over four easy payments.

Forget gold and silver – it’s time to invest in a backyard chicken coop if you want to survive eggflation.