- Steve Gruber - https://www.stevegruber.com -

Why Cats are Better Than Glenn Beck

Talk show host Glenn Beck continued his war on cats on his Tuesday show with him touting a new study [1] that determined if cats were people, they’d be psychopaths.

Cats are very independent to be sure but they all have different personalities and needs.

All cats shouldn’t be judged by a few, just like people.

Does Beck want to be judged by the antics and comments of Michael Savage? How about Alec Baldwin? Baldwin had a talk show “career” for a half-second. Should we determine Beck’s character based on Alec Baldwin’s behavior?

And what’s surprising is that even though Beck rejects crazy scientists like Fauci (with good reason), he seems perfectly fine believing this bogus study that isn’t even based in science – it’s published results from a questionnaire [2] that was answered by cat owners.

This sounds about as accurate as the studies on global warming produced by the Climategate frauds.

The feline psychopath study includes a whopping 549 participants even though there are millions of cats on the planet and millions of cat owners.

Back when Trump was running for president, most people thought Beck had gone off his rocker and had psychological issues himself. He compared Trump to Hitler and said that the Don was an “extinction-level event” for our democracy and capitalism. 

So now I’m wondering why Beck has the legitimacy to pass judgement on innocent felines when his past judgements have been so spectacularly error-prone?

Cats are actually better than Glenn Beck in multiple ways.

Cats don’t use annoying white boards.

Most cats don’t look like Colonel Sanders.

Cats don’t warn us daily about the impending end of the world and how helpless we are unless we buy a “My Pillow” or refinance our mortgage.

Cats don’t force us to listen to audio clips of Nancy Pelosi, Jen Psaki, Joe Biden or Chuck Schumer.

Just because cat haters like Beck can’t understand why cats do what they do, it doesn’t mean that they don’t have good reason for doing things.

Is the cat running around your house for what seems like no good reason? Maybe there is a gas leak or a predator outside. Maybe there is poop on the cat’s butt that he needs to dislodge. Who are we to judge?

So what if a cat plays with a mouse before killing it? Maybe the cat is making sure the mouse isn’t involved in a national security issue or isn’t Sean Hannity’s pet. Maybe the cat is doing due diligence and research on the mouse’s background before taking its life.

And your cat might not be yowling for no reason. Maybe he’s injured or sick. Maybe he’s trying to make you aware that you left the burner on the stove on. Maybe he or she is hungry and you’re too busy binge-watching The Bachelorette to notice the cat bowl has been empty for two hours.

On Beck’s show, Glenn and one of his sidekicks were asking what it says about us if were are friends with a psychopath.

I don’t know. Maybe someone should ask Obama, Biden’s BFF.

We are the one who don’t speak cat language. Our cats knows exactly what is going on. Maybe WE are the crazy ones.

Cats Against Beck PAC will be putting together a questionnaire about Glenn soon and I’m sure that the results will be illuminating. 

But it all might be all for naught if Beck catches a cold and a cat is close enough to hurry the virus along to give the Radio Hall of Fame broadcaster a place in the great promised land of eternal life.

The cats are standing by sharpening their knives.

Glenn knows what that means.