Being a good citizen in America should mean obeying the laws, contributing to society, providing for your family and having some knowledge of when the Christmas season ends. It’s perfectly understandable that it might take some people longer than others to put away their decorations due to the amount displayed, age, disability or being stuck in the hospital with the Coronavirus.
However, not all of us want to be subjected to your spiral trees, your wire deer, the wreaths on your door and the lights on your doghouse throughout the month of February.
I understand that the Declaration of Independence allows everyone liberty and “the pursuit of happiness” but there is also common courtesy to think about. I don’t think flashing green and pink lights covering a blow up dinosaur for four months does anything to form a more perfect union. And by the way, green and pink do not go together. You know who you are.
In order to insure domestic tranquility, I will lay out some ground rules. Maybe you don’t know what’s acceptable in society anymore because you are glued to your cell phone and don’t get out much. These rules will be forwarded to President Trump and will hopefully be reflected in a future Executive Order.
1. Outside Christmas decorations should be taken down by the last day in January.
2. Spiral trees and wire deer are not acceptable at any time.
3. Putting Christmas lights around your Trump yard sign is allowed all year as long as those lights are white.
4. Wreaths on doors can be left up all year if they are changed to reflect the most current holiday (i.e. Easter, Valentine’s Day, etc.)
5. Under NO circumstances should your outside decorations still be up in March. If this happens, you might be subject to civil fines as well as public embarrassment on social media.
Lastly, if you can’t take down your Christmas decorations in a timely manner for your own good and the good of your neighborhood, do it for America. For the red, white and blue. As President Kennedy said, “Ask not what your country can do for you – ask what you can do for your country.”
Help make your neighborhood great again.
You know who you are.